Self-care: The Selfless Act of Putting Yourself first
With Mother’s Day, just around the corner I’m reminded of how fulfilling it is to be a mother to my son. To watch him grow into his own person, I want to make sure that I put his needs ahead of mine. I don’t want my own vision of a life for him inhibit his imagination and personal desires. I think I make sacrifices in an effort to make his dreams come true in hopes of giving him things I didn’t have as a child. Can you make too many sacrifices for your child’s well-being?Of course not! Right?
If you’re a mom who also feels this way you may have your priorities out of order. The old adage says " if momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy” and this is true. You must take care of yourself first. Find a way each day to nourish yourself mind body or spirit before you give yourself to your children, your partner, or your job. You come first and if you are not taken care of you will not be able to take care of others around you. If you are lacking anything others will notice. Ever have a friend or loved one ask if you're ok when you haven’tsaid a word about your troubles? Well honey that’s because they can see that something is wrong. It can show in your eyes, your dress, or your attitude. So, here's a few ways you can take some time to fulfill this need through selfcare; they are affordable,fabulous, and undeniably a great reason to treat yo' self with care.
1. Affirmations: If you've watched any episode of B.E.T.'s hit series Being Mary Jane starring Gabrielle Union. You know this is her thing: affirmations. She has them on post-it notes all around her home to keep her motivated, focused and uplifted when the going gets tough. So maybe you won't go to that extreme of having post-it notes all over your home but you can start by picking 2 or 3 affirmations that speak to you and reciting them to yourself while looking in the mirror. Still stumped? You can borrow a few of mine to get you started:
"I am absolutely phenomenal"
"I am stronger than everyone I see."
"I am a bad ass."
At first you may feel silly talking to your self aloud in the mirror; I promise you by the end of the week you will feel it and your bad days won’t feel so bad anymore.
2. Take it slow: Pick a day out of the week and carve out a few hours where you do nothing but take it easy. If you're a single parent find a sitter to take the kids for 1 or 2 hours while you go the park and take a walk, or stay home and take a nap! “Rest your eyes”, as my mother would always say, and kick your feet up and indulge in the silence and serenity of solitude. If you're a city dweller people watching can be relaxing and even the sounds of the city can serve as a mid-day lullaby for an afternoon snooze. Whatever you choose, just slow it down for a few and give your body and mind a break from the hustle and bustle of 'adulting' and take a moment to recharge.
3. Bathe yourself in luxury: Literally! Head to Marshalls or TJ Maxx and check out their Beauty aisle. They have some super affordable spa items, like milk baths, bath soaks, mud masks, louffas, eye masks, you name it! While you're there you can even grab a few designer scented candles at an affordable price and set the scene for your Me Time. I've made this a part of my weekly Self-care Routine and it has done wonders for my spirit. I put my little one to sleep and I dip off to the bathroom; add a couple of smooth 90's R&B hits, a glass of wine or chamomiletea, and you've really set the scene for a relaxing evening with yo' damn self. Plus, you'll wake up refreshed with soft rejuvenated skin from your bath and your facial. If you're pressed for time like most of us this is a double win! That's a Self-Care 2 for 1 in my book!
Give these few things a try and stick to them! I promise you'll feel better having done something for yourself. Your friends and family will notice the difference too. Most importantly, people who love you are happy to see you take care of yourself. So,remember take the time to put yourself first, it’s the most selfless thing you can do.
Article by Tina McEachin
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