You only get one life and a life lived for others is a life wasted. You were not born to please or to give so much that you lose yourself as a result. Be unapologetic in your journey to love and care for yourself as you would your most prized possession. In your relationships, be they friendships or romantic relationships, know when something is no longer serving you. And more importantly, learn to not feel guilty walking away from something that doesn’t serve you. Say you had cancer, you’d do all you could to rid yourself of that mass to survive, right? You don’t go, “hey, this is killing me but I feel bad cutting it out.” You get under that knife to save your life. It should be the same with toxic friends, situations, environments, relationships, jobs, etc. You have to protect your peace, and to do that you need to remove things that hinder your progress as a being.
You may lose people in the process but I’m telling you, it’s not a loss if they weren’t building you up. It was a loss having that person around because anything that’s not building you up is dragging you down. If you don’t like to go out to parties but you feel the need to go to keep your friends, you’re pleasing the wrong people, what about you? If you don’t enjoy Snapchat but you made one because everyone’s on there and you’re afraid of missing out, you should take some time to reevaluate your values, wants and needs. There’s nothing wrong with seeing something wrong in the social media craze and stepping back from it to improve your health, our generation is addicted to social media but you don’t have to conform because that’s the new normal. Step back and follow your own path. That’s part of knowing what’s best for you and acting upon it because it’s beneficial to you. You come first, and you need to be comfortable accepting that. You’re not selfish because you put you first. You’re not selfish because a “no” for someone else is a “yes” for you. You’re not selfish because what makes you happy doesn’t put a smile on someone else’s face. Your growth may be in solitude and that’s okay, you will find comfort in that too and the right people will fill in the spaces of the wrong ones. As long as you aren’t intentionally hurting someone for your own personal gain, live your life as unapologetically as you please.
Article by Olivia Steadman- Oladipo