Reasons Why You Should Be Picky When Dating

“Boy bye”.

Sometimes these are the only words that can accurately depict how you feel in a moment like this.

We`ve all had that moment where you`re listening to a guy giving all the game he knows how. You listen, and maybe smile a little bit. However, in the back of your mind you`re mentally rolling your eyes.

It brings me to thatage-old question:Am I asking for too much?

There is one song that sums up my answer to this question. It`s called Easy by Demetria McKinney.

She says, “I ain`t no stuck up chick, I ain`t picky, I just want what`s best for me, I can`t let nobody get the best of me, unless they want the best for me. “

Throughout dealing with relationships and “situationships”, it can be hard to distinguish knowing your worth versus having your standards too high. For one, you must believe that it isokay to have standards. The rightstandards. Do not let anyone make you feel as if it is not. In that same train of thought, you mustdistinguish what standards are truly important. For example, demanding he look a certain type of way may not be as essential as how you want to be treated. It all comes down to self-worthand self-value. View yourself as the queen you are. When you truly believe that about yourself, your tolerance for ill treatment will become lower. Trust.

 

Self-Worth is incredibly hard to obtain, but it can be easily broken. You could be the most confident woman yet a bad relationship could cause you to start doubting yourself. I`ve found that self-worth in relationships comes from knowing what you bring to the table. I`m not just talking how you look on the outside. What kind of qualities can you offer to someone else? Then, ask yourself does what they bring to the table match that? My pops used to tell me that you should never give someone 100 percent right away. That should be earned. Especially if you`re dating. Why is it some of us believe that because a man has a little game that means they deserve the key to our mind, body, and soul. It`s okay to make that person work for it. Now, that doesn’t mean you should have him doing impossible feats. However, the bare minimum shouldn`t be consideredimpossible. Don`t settle for less when you know you deserve more than that.

If he can ask you to slide through, he can ask you on a date. You should set the example for the type of treatment you want. Your nonverbal actions can speak more than your verbal actions. People say a lot of things, but there should be action to back it up. What I mean is, if you want a serious relationship don`t accept anything less than that.

There`s this stigma when a female demands too much, then she`s doing too much, hard to get along with, or a lot of the times she`s referred to as a name that isn`t so nice. However, it`s all in the approach. You can be confident in who you are, what you bring to the table, and how you deserve to be treated. Be gracious, but it doesn`t mean you have to be immune to the bullshit. Maintain an open mind when dating, but you shouldmake sure to pay attention to red flags as well. On top of all that, stay true to who you are and what you want. You owe it to yourself.

 

Article by Jada Lucas