Let's Be Selfish: Tips on Achieving Positive Selfishness

Everyone always says imagine a future so bright that you need shades just to see it. Every person on this earth has a dream, goal, or aspiration that they hope to achieve. The question is how do you achieve this success?

Learning to be selfish.

My friend tapped her bubblegum nails against the chestnut table. Although it`s a small detail, her nails are something that she takes pride in. It`s a small way of rewarding herself for her hard work. I`ve found that many women, especially black women, tend to be very selfless. We do for others, but we hesitate when it comes to doing for ourselves. We see this throughout history. Part of it stems from being viewed in so many different roles. My grandmother is a prime example of this. She has worked hard her whole life in order to progress personally as well as take care of our family. She served as a leader, provider, and a source of strength. However, it becomes easy to forget about ourselves when we are always thinking of others. Part of achieving success comes from learning when and how to balance our personal needs and those of others.

“So let`s be selfish.” In my Rihanna voice.

Now, don`t get it twisted. I`m not saying a person should be selfish all the time. With that being said,  don't be afraid to take time out for yourself when life gets too strenuous. Your mental health is important.  Do things that put you at peace. This differs among people.  It can be as simple as getting your nails done, like my friend, or going to your favorite place. Alone time helps you better reflect on what changes are necessary in order to see growth. Growth pushes you in the direction of your goals. Although the opinions of others are valid, no one can tell you about yourself the way that you can. You know yourself better than anyone.

Positive selfishness keeps you focused on your own journey. As you are growing, it can become easy to compare your success to others. Life is your personal track, and you are the track runner. You can`t be so worried about who's going to pass you or who is behind you. You have to focus on your own pace and the hurdles ahead. Also, it is okay to cut out negative influences in your life. Everybody and everything is not beneficial to your success.  Sometimes letting certain situations go can leave room for better.

I think it`s important for young women to know and understand the difference between positive and negative selfishness.  You can`t live for the happiness of others. Other people aren`t that accommodating. At the end of the day, is that person in your shoes? Are they dealing with your negative relationship? Are they going to that job that you hate everyday?  Are they taking those finals for you? The answer is no. Don`t be afraid to do what`s best for you. You should look out for those you love, but don`t forget your feelings in that process. Once you master the art of being selfish in a positive way, those blessings on top of blessings are sure to come.



Article by Jada Lucas